The Power of Self-Talk
By Dana Yarn, Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Fitness Professional
Most people don’t realize it, but as we go about our daily lives we are constantly thinking about and interpreting the situations we find ourselves in. It’s as though we have an internal voice inside our head that determines how we perceive every situation. Psychologists call this inner voice ‘self-talk‘, and it includes our conscious thoughts as well as our unconscious assumptions or beliefs.
There are several coaches and experts who will say that the only thing getting in the way of your goals is what is between your ears. Our brain is very powerful and how we talk to ourselves can determine our entire self-worth. Focusing on our strengths over our weaknesses and our successes over failures will grow more confidence and boost self-esteem. The hard part is it is so easy to focus on the negative and overlook the positive. I cannot count how many times I have given a client a compliment about their appearance and they immediately respond by saying, “Thanks, but I just cannot get rid of my belly or thighs, etc.” If they would celebrate the win and continue to progress they will reach their ultimate health goals. Sometimes we actually sabotage our own progress by talking ourselves out of adhering to a program, nutrition plan, exercise, etc.
Disputing your self-talk means challenging the negative or unhelpful aspects. Doing this enables you to feel better and to respond to situations in a more helpful way.
Learning to dispute negative thoughts might take time and practice, but is worth the effort. Once you start looking at it, you’ll probably be surprised by how much of your thinking is mistaken, embellished, or fixated on the negatives of the situation.
Whenever you find yourself feeling depressed, angry, anxious or upset, use this as your signal to stop and become aware of your thoughts. Use your feelings as your cue to reflect on your thinking.
Try to focus on your goals and ask yourself when you are feeling negative, is this type of thinking going to help me reach my goals? If not try to look for alternative ways to solve the problem.
“I don’t vs. the I can’t”
Feeling like we are not allowed to do something is almost a guaranteed way to make us feel like we really want to do it. Have you ever been to a party and a friend passes on a piece of birthday cake saying “I can’t eat that?” The word can’t indicates oppression, struggle. If the friend would have said, “I don’t eat cake” that statement sounds very confident, empowered, in control and they sound like they have a purpose. Try to refrain from saying “I can’t” and change those statements to “I don’t.”
Developing a positive inner dialogue will help you manage stress, relationships and even health issues. Listen to your inner voice and make sure it is steering you in the right direction.